What are some tips for people who are bad at making small talk at parties?

Steve Anthony
4 min readFeb 20, 2019

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You can learn how to small talk in ONE DAY.

It plays a vital role in establishing relationships — whether that relationship happens to be in a social setting or in a professional one.

Becoming good at small talk is a great skill. People who tell you not to make small talk is setting you up for failure. It’s always going to come up.

Take control of small talk and the conversation. Realize, small talk is only the beginning to a more meaningful and deep conversation with someone.

We’re going to make it as easy as possible for you. Let’s start!

Start a conversation with basic topics or simple questions. These are “safe” topics or “feelers”, giving you an idea about who the person is or what their personality is like.

Using “safe” questions will also give you an idea of which direction to go in a conversation.

An example of a safe (but wise and effective) introduction would be…

“Hey, it’s great to meet you. I’m Joe. How’s your day going?” — This is a good place to start because it’s an extremely basic and a common question.

Change the last part to whatever situation you’re in. Such as:

“Hey, it’s great to meet you. I’m Joe. What brought you here tonight?

Or,

“Hey, it’s great to meet you. I’m Joe. What do you think of this event?”

It’s simple, and it invites the other person to open up about their experiences.

If someone shares their events of the day, you can pull from what they’ve said to use for the conversation, thus creating a connection and beginning to build momentum.

Another obvious, but great opener would be, “Hey, it’s great to meet you. I’m Joe. I’m happy we’ve finally met.” — This isn’t a question, but a unique strategy you can try out.

It offers an opportunity for the other person to say something or create more small talk. They can say, “Yea me too!” or “It’s a great to meet you. How’s your day been?”

Becoming a good communicator and building your small talk skills is mostly about…Practicing.

Here are simple and quick tips you can read in 2 minutes about how to practice and use today:

1. Speak slower. Take a deep breath, speak clearly, and don’t mumble.

2. Think before you speak. Think clearly with complete ideas. Ask yourself, “Are you considering your responses before speaking?”

3. Join toastmasters or improv classes. This will make a huge difference in how you speak and feel when having conversations. It will relieve you of stress and fear.

4. Your smile is more important than you think. Your words are more effective with a nice smile.

5. Leave out long-winded and unnecessary details. The best communicators choose their words wisely.

6. Don’t use words people won’t understand or need to ask you, “What do you mean?”

7. Beware of your tone of voice. You may come across to aggressive or flat. If you do, most people will walk away.

8. Move away from complicated or controversial topics. Especially if you’re just meeting someone for the first time.

9. Be mindful of the words you use. Listen to your words you use and pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth and what the reactions might be.

10. Complain less to people. Most of us want to be around optimistic and enthusiastic people. Be the person who talks about things in a positive light and praises people more than they condemn.

We hope this helps! And, if you want to improve your Small talk skills or communication skills check out Loopward.com

Download The Guide and Drastically Improve Your Social Skills. Get 7 Tools You Need To Have A Good Conversation. Download the guide here!

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Steve Anthony
Steve Anthony

Written by Steve Anthony

I’m an adventurous coffee drinker. I’m also the founder of https://www.loopward.com/, a source to help people improve their people skills. Reach out!

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